Fifty shades of f@#$&$g Grey!

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY
The miserable book which introduced me to my latest most un-loved phrase, 'momma porn'. Before I rant about the most disgusting book of all times! which it is, I owe an explanation how I got here. I and my recently found very close friend zipped, huddled, and sweated around the chandni chowk lane. There in midst of stinking, courtesy-less people I had the dreadful coincidence of thinking this might be a good book, "Gray being a colour I had pseudo intellectually related with art-sy people!"
About the book :-
Caution :- I apologize in advance for the profanity that follows, this post is not meant for innocent eyes.

The girl, protagonist Anastasia Steele gives Bella run for her money in terms of stupidity, dumbness. She is a literature graduate :(. A small meeting with overly rich, mysterious, multi-billionaire Christian Grey, followed by some inner reflection holy crap, holy shit, greek-god, super-handsome, after coffee-date, helicopter ride to Seattle, finally reveals grey's true personality. He has torture turn some pathetic room in his house, playroom! There are all sorts of kinky things, and he wants her to sign a contract (non-enforceable),that practically makes her slave, to try all that stuff and govern what she wears, eat. A normal girl should throw up and shout, "you try that with me bitch, I'll shoot you!"and really run!
 This one stays and let him deflower her (really used in here!) and she has no prior experience in twenty-one years, not even solo (Pathetic?). Followed by three-hundred page of full blown torture, and just to make sure you guys know what I went through, here are some quotes,
"My mouth pops open as I gasp and swallow at the same time"
(physically impossible)
"My inner goddess pole-vaults over the fifteen-foot war."
(If i ever hear this inner-goddess non-sense, I will kill some-one!)
"Now that's the dress I approve of"
Listen you sick bastard, no one's asking!
and I could quote some really outrageous sex-lines, but let's just summarise this book as gracefully as I can manage:-

PS

never-ever ever read this shit. Hollywood is making movie out of this, world just got a hell more dumber!